Cheese sticks?

So, my daughter is sitting at the table eating dinner (Kid's Meal - Taquitos, corn, cheese dip and pudding)...


IR - "hm. Cheese sticks?"

10 yo - *look on face that says "What are you, stupid?"* "Taquitos"

IR - "Oh, cheese filled?"

10 yo - "No, it's got cheese dip, see?" *points to cheese dip*

IR - "No, I mean, are the sticks filled with cheese?"

10 yo - "I wouldn't need cheese dip if they were filled with cheese...." *rolls eyes*

IR - "........"

Me - *at desk with hands over my face* "snicker"

10 year old ownage, revisited.....

I was in the kitchen putting away the days groceries, IR was splayed out on his couch flipping channels like a madman.
As soon as I came back into the room, he yells out...


IR - "JADE!!!!"

Me - *glances over to where he's half-pointing at the television and there is the Home Shopping Network, and they're showing a necklace and pendant that clearly states in bold letters at the bottom of the screen "Genuine Turquoise Pendant".*
*goes back into kitchen*

10-yo - "OOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo.... A turquoise pendant!"

IR - "Yeah well, that's jade. See the green?"

10-yo - "No it's not, it's turquoise. See it says "Genuine Turquoise Pendant" right there." *points at screen*

IR - "Oh. hm. Well it looked like, ya know, jade."

10-yo - "All you hadda do was read the description."

*Insert GUFFAW from kitchen here*

Cleaning the bunker....

Well, last night was the first night of the rest of IR's stay here. He began cleaning up the bunker, starting with 4 loads of clothes.

On one of the trips downstairs for the clothes, he made himself 3 jelly on wheat sandwiches (Yup, JELLY on WHEAT. No peanut butter... On WHEAT. EW!), a bowl full of chili and a HUGE convenience store mug of chocolate milk to take back up with him.

After a short while, I heard the vacuum cleaner being run for the second time since he's been here.
Following that, DTS with 3 bags of trash.... After seeing all this, I just can't imagine how one would even move around in that little bunker with all that stuff in there. Think about it..

10x12 room with a bed, 2 computer desks, 2 chest o' drawers, refridgerator and entertainment center. Add to that 4 loads worth of dirty clothes, 3 bags of trash and his beer belly. (Yes, it's still VERY much there...).

How, I ask you... HOW?!?

The truth finally comes out....

A week late, but he finally came forward..


IR - "So, I uhh.. Guess you heard that I, ya know, have been lookin for another, ya know, place to stay."

Me - "Oh yeah, heard that about a week ago from the landlord."

IR - "eeeheeeheeeeh Well, yeah. She said that she, ya know, called you about it. Anyhow, I found a place that has, ya know, utilities and extended cable included."

Me - "Good deal. Is the rent decent?"

IR - "$620 a month."

Me - "Pretty good with all the stuff included."

IR - "Yeah, all I gotta get is cable internet and I'm set. I'll have 2, ya know, refridgerators and 2 computers so it'll be nice to be able to crank down the AC without, ya know, worrying about the bill."

Me - *losing interest* "I imagine so."

IR - "Anyhow, you should, ya know, look into it. It's quite a deal."

Me - "Nope. I'm not moving again unless I have to."

IR - "hm."






Soooo... On the 15th of next month my place becomes "my place" again.

WOOOOOOT!!!


ps- I wonder how much stuff he's gonna expect me to move for him?

The IRB may be nearing it's conclusion....

Got a call from the landlord today asking me when IR was moving out. Not knowing what she was talking about, I replied in the negative. I then asked what gave her that impression, and she informed me that she had gotten a phone call from someone asking about a reference for him. The only reason anyone would call her for a reference would be for a place to live.



I'm wondering if/when I'll hear anything about this, or if I'll just come home one day to an emptied out bunker.


We'll see!!!

Update 6/16

Indeed, the IR is leaving. Don't have a date yet, but it should be soon. Upon his exit, the following will take place.

1) Popcorn will be forever banned from my premises.

2) The Bunker of Light will receive a thorough cleansing.

3) I will NEVER have another roommate.

Update 6/17

I just realized that there is a very likely piece of this puzzle sitting on the desk by the front door that I hadn't put in place until now.

IR's drivers license.

It's been sitting there for a week, and at first I thought he must've gotten a duplicate or something. Now I'm betting that he has a new one with a new address on it.

Update 6/18

Still nothing from IR directly about this, but the landlord verified that he is indeed moving out.

hehe.. I wondered why he's been holed up in the bunker for the last 3 weeks. In true IR fashion, I'll ask about it like so..


Me - "hm.. hm. Vacation?"

Update 6/19

Well, IR was down here most of last night watching Animal Planet. It seems to be his favorite station, just like my 11 year old, and a friend's 6 year old. He didn't say a word about the moving thing, but I did notice that a good bit of his stuff down here has been picked up and moved apparently to the bunker. (Why he would move stuff from downstairs to upstairs in preparation to move it downstairs and out is beyond me...)

Slow bloggage for the last couplea weeks...

Mainly due to the fact that IR has been "bunker bound" during this time period, only venturing outside the bunker for brief forages, or simply grabbing some chow and bringing it upstairs.

I believe I've seen him 4 times total in the last 2 weeks or so.

Can anyone gimme an AMEN!

Yes, it sucks for the blogging business, but I'm lovin it! He seems to have finally found a true replacement for Evercrack, namely "Guild Wars". It consumes his very existance, to the detriment of his apparently now "ex" bible study group and "ex" church.

Ah well, that is the way of the IR. Once he finds something to obsess over that's better than the last thing he obsessed over, off he goes.

Let's see how long this one lasts.
So far, he's been playing for about a month all total, but for the last couplea weeks that's been all he's done.

Sometimes.......

It just doesn't pay.

Actually, most of the time it doesn't.

I got to looking through all of my daughter's stuff in the freezer and realized that a great deal of it was microwave stuff. Crap, so you know what that means.

Off I go to Wal-Mart to buy a damned microwave.

I find a small one and bring it home. I walk in the door with it and there's IR sitting on the couch smacking away at a mouthful of gum.

IR - "Microwave broke?"

Me - "Well, yeah...... It's been sitting there in pieces for 2 days. You didn't notice?"

IR - "Well, I hadn't, ya know, needed to use it or anything."

Me - "hm." (I love doing that from time to time...)

I go into the kitchen and start putting the old one back together to move it, and....

IR - "Well, ya know, I kinda thought you were just, ya know, cleaning it so get the popcorn smell out of it. If I'da known it was, ya know, broken I woulda got mine from Denham."

Me - *so he DID notice that it was out of action* "Doesn't matter now, really. But this one is going to remain popcorn free."

IR - "Oh, well, yeah."

RAPTURE!!!!!!!1

IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!! THE RAPTURE HAS COME!!!
REPENT YOUR MANY SINS!! COME BEFORE THE LORD LEST YE BE LEFT TO WALLOW IN THE PITS OF HADES!! VERILY IS YOUR SOUL IN DANGER OF BEING LOST!! BRING YOUR SOUL TO GOD BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! THE LAKE OF FIRE AWAITS ALL SINNERS!!

REPENT UNTO YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR!! REPENT AND BE REDEEMED UNTO HIS EYES!!! PERISH NOT IN THE DECREPIDNESS OF SATAN'S RAVENOUS CLAWS!!





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/fill in the blanks.. :)