It's gonna be a looooooooooong night....

Being election night and all, IR will very likely spend the entire night down here, crunching, slurping, burping and smacking between his idiotic commentaries at the tv.

I'll attempt to use this post to provide a play by play of the upcoming ignorance.

Unless of course, it gets to a point where I simply can't stand it....

Wish me luck. (Note - I'm putting my sanity on the line for you people... I expect at least a cookie dammit!)
*Note - IR is also sitting about 5 feet behind me throughout this live blogging*

A bag of nuclear popcorn is currently being devoured, in individual nuggets of course.
*Endless crunch crunch crunches....*
*BUUURP*
*Finishes popcorn, digs into big box-o-candy left over from Halloween.
*smick-slurp-smack* (Will continue for the next hour or so....)
IR - "Kerry'll probably take California, huh? With the gays, Hollywood and such? Lotsa big money there."
*Channel flipping starts*
*more candy*
*Watching Fox News report, while they report 'projected' states won by Kerry*
IR - "Isn't Fox supposed to be pro-Bush?"
Me - "What're they supposed to do, lie to make it sound like Bush is doing better than he is?"
IR - "smick-slurp-smack hm."
*more candy*
IR - "You know what's interesting is that all the other, ya know, countries have taken such an interest in this election. Of course, they all want Kerry to, ya know, win."
*more candy*
Me - "I don't think nearly all of them want Kerry to win."
IR - "Well, ya know, almost all."
Me - "Not even almost all."
IR - "hm. hm.. I'm sure at least the French do since he's French. smick smack smick"
Me - "..........."
*more candy*
*channel flipping again*
*candy appears to be finished now...*
IR - "Talking, yakking...."
*local news showing a live broadcast from inside a polling place*
IR - "LIVE! LOOK AT THAT! I BET THAT WAS THIS AFTERNOON! LOOK HOW BRIGHT IT IS!"
Me - "It's inside."
IR - "Oh, yeah, that's what I was just thinkin."
*live broadcast is from Bakersfield*
IR - "Bakersfield? What's that?"
Me - "..... uhhhh.... a town?" /sarcasm
IR - "What is that, like some, uhhhh, conglomeration of Baker and Brownsfield?"
Me - "No, it's Bakersfield."
*IR dives back into the candy box*
IR - "Ohh..hm. smickity smack slurp"
*more candy*
*looking at Leslie Stahl on tv*
IR - "Look at that hair! It's like, uhhh, wings! Like the flying nun, yaknowwhutI'msayin?"
Me - "heh.... It's just hair."
IR - "meh"
*more candy*
*guy on tv mentions 'punch card ballots'*
IR - "Eh uh uh!?!? Ok, let's get ready for those hanging chaps again!"
Me - ".........." (simply shakes head in disbelief) *Note - Yes, he said CHAPS.*
*more candy*
*more candy*
"BUUURP!"
*goes into kitchen, fiddles with microwave, get's something out of the fridge, returns to couch*
IR - "gruUUNT"
*more candy*


Ok, that's enough... I can't STAND the smicking smacking shit anymore. I can't suffer through his piss poor eating habits another second. Keep the cookie, just send me some valium.



ps- *more candy*



*UPDATE 11/3/04**

Well, the tally after me putting on my headphones last night was;

Another couple of handfuls of candies, resulting in a rather large mountain of wrappers left on the table.
Another bag of nucular popcorn.
3 bottles of water
and
A can of something. (I'm thinking chili, but haven't looked)