My God, people!

8000 hits in one contigious 24 hour period.


Unbelievable that this thing is still running.

Welcome alldumb.com viewers

I woke up this morning to quite a shock. My official IRB counter had jumped from 850ish to 1700 in just a few hours. I looked into my admin section for the counter, and found that 99% of those excess hits were referring from alldumb.com.
I checked it out, and sure enough, there was my blog linked on the first page.

Since this morning, I've gathered almost 6000 total hits on the counter, and have spent more than a little time worrying if BlogSpot would pitch a fit about all the bandwidth suddenly being used.

So far though, nothing from BlogSpot, and no noticeable slowdown in performance since early this morning. Excellant!

Lower than protozoa....

Ole IR was down here most of the evening, watching a NOVA show about how the earth was formed and all that jazz. It included an advertisement regarding another show about "intelligent life in the Milky Way galaxy".

Upon hearing this comment from the announcer;

IR - "Intelligent life huh. Not, ya know, other intelligent life, but just intelligent life. I suppose we're not intelligent in thier eyes."

Me - "Huh? Oh, I guess not."

IR - "Well, there are some people around here that make protozoa look like Einsteins."

Me - "Yes..... Yes there are."

So, whadya think......

A pack of big ole stinky cigars, or a copy of the Satanic Verses for the coffee table...



Decisions decisions......

I need a cryptologist. Or, a brain surgeon.....

So here comes IR, back from a day of who knows what. He comes in with a ream of continuous feed paper and asks...

IR - "So, does anyone in your, ya know, circle of friends know anything about, ya know, cryptography or codes?"

Me - "Nope."

IR - "Oh, well, hm. Take a look at this."

He proceeds to show me pages and pages of printout that's nothing but gobbeldy-gook. You know, like when your printer driver gets fouled up, or you use the wrong driver for your printer?

Me - "You know, that's nothing but a fouled up printer driver."

IR - "Driver? hm. hm. Well, ya know, it just kinda printed outta nowhere."

Me - "Ok. But it's still a fouled up driver. Why would you think you needed a cryptologist for that?"

IR - "Oh, well, it seemed to me like this might, ya know, mean something.

Me - "Yeah, it means someone on your network's got a fouled up printer driver."

IR - "Oh. hm. ................. hm."

And then he walked off. Now, my take on this is that somewhere in that addled brain of his, he got the idea that perhaps the 'aliens', or maybe God himself was trying to tell him something through a menagerie of garbled text from a printer.
How much farther can this possibly go??

Aliens? Spaceships? God? Is that you?

Ole IR has got himself a new hobby. It involves coming down from the cave 3-4 times a night, and walking outside.

Normally, nobody would care that someone just walks outside for a minute or so, then comes back inside. But, IR goes out there, stands in the middle of the parking lot and furtively searches the night sky for........ something.

He never says anything before going out, or after coming back in, just tromps down the stairs, out the door, then back up to the cave.




Weeeiirrd.....

I figured it wouldn't take long....

It's been, what, 1 day since IR quit smoking, and he came down tonight from the cave and immediately started waving his arms in front of himself and 'coughing'.

This is my damned house, and I didn't quit. Not gonna either, maybe it'll make his dumbass leave a little quicker.

The end of the IRB???

Wow, what an odd couple of days.

Since IR's fanatical transformation into a religious zealot, he has quit smoking and I believe quit the beer too.

Could this be the end?


Might this be the last entry into the somewhat, kinda, semi famous IRB?

















Nah. He's still got PLENTY of stupid left in him. :)


RED ALERT RED ALERT

The beer fridge is empty! I repeat, THE BEER FRIDGE IS EMPTY!!!!

3 cylinder?

So, some of you know that I bought a 'new' car a couplea weeks ago. A '94 Ford Probe GT, maroon in color, V6, power everything, and in pretty decent shape.

Well, I've found it necessary to do some replacement of a few parts in the engine area. (vacuum hoses, solenoids, etc) So, the other day, I had the hood up letting the engine cool off so I could replace one of the vacuum solenoids when IR showed up. I sat inside and watched him stop in front of the car, walk back and forth 4 or 5 times, leaning left and right with each stride.

Finally he came inside and......


IR - "Fixin the car?"

Me - "...........................................................yeah."

IR - "That's kindof a, ya know, odd engine. 3 cylinder?"

Me - "What?"

IR - "Well I, ya know, looked it over and all I could see was 3 spark plugs."

Me - "The 3 on the front, you mean."

IR - "Oh I see. There's 3 more, where... In the back?"

Me - *waits for a few seconds....* "Yeah."

IR - "Ohhhhhhhhh"

By the way....

Any religious theologists who want to weigh in on this stuff, feel free.
I consider IR's rantings to be complete lunacy myself, but if anyone wants to convince me that his interpretation of this stuff carries any merit, I'd like to hear it.

If there are to be any lengthy discussions involving this stuff, perhaps they would be better served ON THIS FORUM. *Link removed* I've always found that following replies in the format presented on blogs to be a little lacking in cohesiveness.

Rod Serling's around here somewhere.......

Cue the music...


"What do you do when the world around you collapses in on itself. One minute, you're a perfectly normal idiot, the next, you're a raving lunatic idiot. Somewhere between here, and there, you walk into, the IRB Zone."


I was informed last night that the anti-christ is already walking among us. He's here. He's alive. We know his name. We know where he is. The rapture is coming very, very soon. I won't bore you with the particulars of the attempted discussion, or with the unanswered question "If we know who, what and where he is, why is he still alive?" but in keeping with the old adage "If it's on the internet, it must be true.", I give you the latest URLs that were passed to me to prove IR's point.

OH woe is us. The anti-christ is here.

And the whirlpool goes deeper, and deeper....

So here I sit, minding my own damned bidness, and bonehead comes downstairs and says...

IR - "Hey, you get into the conspiracy theories much?"

Me - "No."

IR - "Ohh. hm. Well, look over this site, (hands over a small piece of notepad paper with THIS URL on it) it's got lotsa stuff about life on Mars, and the latin, ya know, text on our money."

Me - "You know that I'm really not interested in all that religious fanatacism, nor alien's rule our planet stuff."

IR - "Well, uhhh, I just want another, ya know, opinion on it."

Me - "I'll give it to you right now."

IR - "Well, heeeheeee eheeeee, you haven't seen it yet."

Me - "I know."

IR - *going towards stairs to escape what he knows is about to burst his little tin foil bubble* "Lemme know what you think."

Me - "Right!"


*EDIT* So, he came back down just now and...

IR - "So, you get to look at that site yet?"

Me - "Yep"

IR - "What'd ya think?"

Me - "Honestly? I think you're goin way overboard with all this crap."

IR - *Gives oratory on how it, ya know, must...uh.... have some, ya know, truth to it cause you couldn't get that many people to lie about it. The government of the US couldn't cover up all of the sightings and meetings with aliens and such.

I broke in once and said "You're right, the US gov. can't cover up all of that kind of stuff, so where's all the proof of these things happening outside the US? They just don't happen here, ya know. The US has no influence of any sort in Russia, or China, or North Korea, or france, so where's all the proof of thier meetings and sightings?"
His response was that "Well, I don't have access to newpapers and stuff from those countries."
I simply pointed to my computer. "It's all right there. So, where's the proof that the US government can't possibly cover up?" "Well, errm, uhhh, ya know, err, uhhh" was pretty much all I got. He passed me THIS NEW URL to back himself up. After I set it down on my desk for later filing in file 13, I said, "If you really like to read about all that lunacy, you oughta go find some Art Bell to read." He then told me "That's who that is! On that site I just gave you, that's who I'm telling you about."

That's a mighty big pit he's fallen into, there...

That's it.. He's lost it.

I am now officially afraid to have my children around IR. The deep end has come and gone for him, and I'm " " <--that close to sending him packing. Tonight he THUDS down the stairs and breathlessly reminds me of a story that he never told me.

IR - "You remember, uhh, how I told, pant pant, ya bout the African kids and the, uhhh, pant pant, alien??"

Me - "Nope."

IR - "Uhh. hm.hm. Well, anyhow, thought I told ya. Anyhow, pant pant, (here's where the story about a group of African kids "who have no reason to lie", were visited by an alien who told them "Don't get too advanced.", is relayed. I believe this is the story he must be flipping out about.)

The story was filled with too many "anyhow"'s to count, and a metric ton of "ya know"'s. I was reminded that they had no reason to lie, being kids and all, about 5 times throughout the story.

Then he excitedly shoves a printed out copy of THIS REPORT under my nose, stating that the 'vehicle' shown is exactly what was in his dream.
You DO remember the dream, right?
Well, it wasn't exactly like it, the one in his dream was a bit more rounded. *rolls eyes*

Couple this with him talking with his lunatic brother-in-law all the time now about all his whacky assed religious nonsense, and he's heading quickly towards either a mental breakdown, or finding himself looking for somewhere else to live, soon.

And down the stairs he comes.....

IR - "Well, the more I read into it the scarier it gets."


















Mmmkay...

Holeee cow.....

Just got in from work a short while ago, and noticed a plastic shopping bag on the floor next to IR's couch. I couldn't help but glance inside, and was absolutely amazed at what I saw.


1 five pound can of cashews (CHOOOOS)
1 five pound can of mixed nuts.
3 "Family Sized" boxes of Cracker Jacks
1 friggen HUGE bag of Cheetos (3 pounds if an ounce)
1 pound bag of Doritos
and 5, count'em, FIVE large "chunk" Hershey bars


Methinks there's going to be a lot of 'topping off' going on around here soon, which means I'll have to sit through numerous window rattling belches, hours worth of 'smick smack slerup smack smack' accompanied by the heavy breathing normally heard only in porn movies, many, many grunts as pounds of food are hoisted into his face, and who knows what else.



*sigh*

Oh for the love of pete..........

Who in the hell heckles the television set?

Isn't that sort of thing normally reserved for in person type things?

I didn't watch much of the political conventions this year, but the other night when Laura Bush was going to speak, I wanted to hear what she was gonna say. IR had rooted himself to his couch (with a mighty grunt) and I swear to you he never shut up during the entire speech.
I have no idea what 2/3rds of the things she said in the first 5 minutes were. What I heard went something like this....


Laura Bush - "Thank you, everyone for..."
IR - "Oh here we go. HERE we go. She's gonna do an hour of "Thank you's". What is this, the Grammys??"
Laura Bush - " George and I were...
IR - "Oh, now she's gonna pump him up like he's some kinda hero or somethin. What's she gonna say, that he was heroic for killing terrorists or for not going to Vietnam?"
Laura Bush - "...and I believed with what he said about..."
IR - "Oh, of course you agreed! You're his wife, what're you gonna do, DISAGREE? heeee he eheheeeeee"
Laura Bush - "I remember back when George and I were on the campaign trail..."
IR - "You were never on the campaign trail! I never saw you anywhere!!"
Laura Bush - "...Governor of Texas. We drove for hours, days...."
IR - "Whatdya mean WE drove?"


And so on..... and so on...... and so on....................................

I gave up in disgust about 5 minutes into it and went and found an internet feed I could listen to with my headphones. The idiot was still yakkin at the TV a half hour later.