Mega snackage and topping off...

Tonight was another night that the smacking was incredible.

IR got home about the same time I did, and had gone shopping, cause he had 3 big bags of groceries and a bag of food from the local po-boy joint.
All the bags were dropped by his couch as he settled in for major scarfing. Opening the big styrofoam container, he revealed a large cheeseburger po-boy and large fries. (This of course, after he proclaimed on one of his christian forums how he avoided red meat due to all the fat. Let's not forget the McDonalds dinners 2-3 nights a week either....) So, I get to hear that whole mass of food being massacred, then before the container is closed, he dives into one of the department store sized bags and pulls out the biggest bag of cheetos I've ever seen... EVER.
After an hour or so and mega crunching and smacking he rolls up the top (it's now about half gone, and that's a 2 or 3 pound bag) and reaches down into another bag pulling out a big box of oatmeal raisin cookies then GRUUUUUNTS up off the couch and heads into the kitchen to make a barrel o'chocolate milk.. Before 1/2 hour has passed, the box is half empty and the choco-milk has been REFILLED and emptied again. Between smacks and chatting with the tv, he tells me...

IR - "I guess this is my last, ya know, gasp of food like this since when I, ya know, ummmm, move into my own place it'll be like a, uummm, sin not to go to the gym."

Me - "Oh I'm sure...."



Here's how much I know about his smackity habits. Every bit of it is more than anyone would ever want to know about it.

Crunchy snacks
He crunches each bite open mouthed for 3 crunches, then settles down to smacking each one for 3 more before stuffing another one in his face. A window rattling smack signals the opening of the maw in preparation for the next bite. After each third one, he swallows.

Chewy snacks
Open mouth chewing for the duration.

Snacks mixed with liquid (cereal and such)
3 serving spoonfuls in the cavern at a time, closed mouth for 3 or 4 munches, then swallowing of liquid, then open mouthed slurpity smacking until it's time for the next shovel full.


Someone shoot me.